How many of us have spent money of new, shiny things, only to find out that, by the end of the month, there isn’t any money left to buy food or pay bills? How many have eaten more than they need or only junk food, gaining a great deal of weight and health problems?
James Clear, author of the book, “Atomic Habits”, describes the problem in this way:
[I]f you want to succeed at something, at some point you will need to find the ability to be disciplined and take action instead of becoming distracted and doing what’s easy. Success in nearly every field requires you to ignore doing something easier (delaying gratification) in favor of doing something harder (doing the work and putting in your reps). (https://jamesclear.com/delayed-gratification)
We all set a goal if we want to accomplish a new task or discipline. But we don’t always get the plan in place.
Breaking down the steps into manageable, actionable, doable chunks is something that is needed. And when each step is reached, a reward of some kind must be a part of that package deal.
Maybe take an extra day off if you are self-employed and reached your target, like reaching a product launch deadline. Perhaps having a special food or purchase that isn’t expensive when you reach a big step toward your diet or exercise goal.
Whatever it is, think of training a puppy. Puppies respond to treats. You teach them to sit, then give them a biscuit. Then gradually it becomes a habit to them and they will sit without that stimulous.
Same with people. Give yourself a reward when you reach your small targets. Then a big reward when you reach the ultimate goal. That anticipation will propel you toward the goal instead of being distracted by the bad habits you are trying to eliminate.
Pretty soon you will realize that your goal has become a habit. And you don’t need to rewards to encourage yourself to continue anymore.
So how do you do that?
Find a way to satisfy your desires that will also gain the habit of delayed gratification. In other words, replace one bad habit with a better one.
Right. But how?
Let’s say you want to cut out processed sugar. That’s probably one of the most addictive substances known to man, so it’s a tough one to overcome. But you know that if you continue on the path of Snicker bars and Twinkies, you’ll end up the size of a small horse, if you’re not there already.
And the joint pain, prospects of diabetes, heart problems, and other things are either lurking over the horizon, or are already at your doorstep.
But just wanting to stop eating processed sugar won’t provide enough of an incentive to quit – even if your life depends on it.
The secret to quitting any bad habit is to replace it with a good one. And for some who can’t do it by just ripping off the bandaid, there is a method that will help keep you on task.
Let’s look at a practical example…
I know that weaning myself off of processed sugar inevitably leads to no progress. Kind of like telling a crack addict trying to cut back on using the drug just a little bit at a time. It doesn’t work.
So instead of getting rid of the substance, and avoiding the “cold turkey withdrawal symptoms” that go along with it, I began by finding healthier options to substitute for the stuff I was needing to avoid. Like using Moreno sugar that is dehydrated whole cane sugar instead of processed white sugar.
Read the labels…
But that also means reading labels and not buying things that contain unhealthy sugars. Including corn syrup and the multi-named “-ose” sugars listed in the ingredients (maltodextrose, sucralose, etc.).
It also meant that if I were to succeed in avoiding the purchases of unhealthy items, I had to plan when I went to the store. My substitutes had to go with me, ready to take the place of those less than beneficial junk foods until those cravings left the body. Otherwise I’d leave the store with the very things I was trying to avoid.
And when the cravings are gone…
When my cravings for the less healthy sugars began to subside, I would start working toward even healthier options, like coconut sugar, stevia (if you can tolerate it), palm sugar, brown rice syrup, or limited honey and maple syrups.
I found that after the initial 30 days of resisting cravings, I find my body only asks for something sweeter than coconut sugar when it really needed it. Once that craved substance is supplied, it is satisfied and doesn’t bug me for a long time.
tips to make it work…
Don’t just assume that when you start on the road of good habits that it will happen overnight. It doesn’t work that way. There are several things that need to be done in order to make this idea actionable:
first…
If you really want something strongly enough, you have to keep track of your progress. Visibly. With some sort of reward at the end.
A wall chart with boxes for 30 days helps. Like the one you can find here. Color in the squares with a single color for 30 days shows you really want that reward. (And that habit.) A red color on one square means you missed your mark that day.
But two missed days in a row means you’re starting a new habit. It is a red warning flag that you need to get back on track or you’ll struggle to restart all over again.
The things we measure are the things we improve. It is only through numbers and clear tracking that we have any idea if we are getting better or worse
James Clear, Goal Setting
Tracking is essential if you want to maintain traction. But keeping that tracker visible is even more essential.
second…
Setting a firm date to reach that goal (like the 30 days) makes it intentional. It is a contract to yourself; a promise to yourself that you will meet your deadline. Put that goal date on the track win bold letters so it will remind you what your deadline is.
That firm date will help give you the much needed focus to accomplish your goal. It will shorten the time you have to achieve that goal. And it helps prevent procrastination, giving a visual cue on your progress.
What if you don’t meet your goal?
For some of us, not meeting that deadline give us the pass we want to never achieve our goals. I’m one of those people.
So breaking that goal timeline up into more manageable pieces, like 30 day chunks, will keep the pressure on. Then try to do that habit more frequently during another 30 day chunk of time. Before you know it, you will have done 90 days – 1/4 of a year – and gain a new habit in the process!
Deadlines force you to make decisions and take action, fostering a proactive mindset and empowering you to overcome obstacles and challenges.
third…
Give yourself a reason to meet that goal. “Better health” is too general. But maybe, “I’m tired of being tired and flabby” might fit the encouragement bill.
An implementation intention sweeps away foggy notions like “I want to work out more” or “I want to be more productive” or “I should vote” and transforms them into a concrete plan of action.
Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity…
fourth…
Build that one newly desired habit on top of another one you already do.
So, for example, if you want to do exercising every day but always seem to run out of time by the end of the day, try doing it first thing in the morning. Perhaps keep your exercise clothes in sight in the bathroom. After you to your morning ablutions, change into your workout clothes and do your exercises. The habit you already have of washing up first thing after you get out of bed will become a trigger to do your workouts.
If you don’t plan out your behaviors, then you rely on your willpower and motivation to inspire you to act. But if you do plan out when and where you are going to perform a new behavior, your goal has a time and a space to live in the real world. This shift in perspective allows your environment to act as a cue for your new behavior.
To put it simply: planning out when and where you will perform a specific behavior turns your environment into a trigger for action. The time and place triggers your behavior, not your level of motivation.
Vóila! A new habit is stacked on an old one you already have!
finally…
The old adage “out of sight, out of mind” is real.
The old adage “out of sight, out of mind” is real. So hang the tracker with your deadline and reason in a place that you will not forget to add your accomplishments. Like the bathroom mirror, or even above your bed.
So where do the “treats” fit in?
I am a person who cannot endure the desert of denial forever. If restrained for too long, I will automatically rebel. Badly.
So, to meet somewhere in the middle, I have to be merciful to my human nature and plan for the unplanned treats. Like setting aside change from normal shopping days, or budget a cash allowance that can be set up for spending on those days when I really need the shopping-dopamine hit.
I have to be merciful to my human nature and plan for the unplanned treats.
When my kids were little, I didn’t have a lot of money for extras. So when our favorite gas station sold sodas for 25¢, I’d take out the extra change saved from my gas expenses and buy each of us a soda. And got something that was special for each of us.
Now, it’s Temu. (Yes, even Amazon is a drop shipper for Temu shops, so don’t get mad at me.) I can spend $2 on a bag-full of squishies without breaking the budget.
Set your treat goal…
Whatever it is for you, set a small-step goal where you will give yourself a small reward. Set the goal low enough (but not TOO low) that you won’t discourage yourself from accomplishing it.
And give yourself a reason for doing this task. “I want to have a firm abdomen in 30 days so my gut doesn’t keep hanging over my belt” might do the trick.
Let’s say you want to reach a goal of doing 100 sit-ups at one time. Start small. Do 5…may 10…or even just one..per day depending on how fit you are at the present time. Then gradually up the number until you reach, say, the quarter-of-the-way there mark. So at 25, you get a cookie. Or buy something inexpensive that you want, like a bag full of squishies for $2 through Temu.
And mark down how you feel at the end of 30 days. Is your tummy tighter – even just a little bit – from the time you started tracking your goal?
If you met the goal and the reason, then give yourself a treat that won’t take you off-course from your long-range goal.
If not, then perhaps after the 30 days, you may need to revamp your reason (and/or reward) for reaching that goal.
Trick or treat?
So what is this? A trick or a treat?
In the end, it is the both. You trick your mind by giving it a treat. If you delay the pleasure forever, discouragement will set in.
If you delay the pleasure forever, discouragement will set in.
And by keeping a tracker, you will see the progress. If you didn’t keep that chart visible, you wouldn’t realize just how far you’ve come – or how little you actually accomplished.
Keep motivated by tracking your progress and giving yourself rewards when you reach your little steps. Then continue going forward until you reach your final goal.
You are going to find that replacing the bad habits (like not exercising) will become the good habits you wanted (like daily exercising). It’s a matter of substituting bad habits with good ones, reviewing your progress by using a tracking system, and rewarding yourself in ways that meet your needs.
Just as James Clear said:
Motivation is short lived and doesn’t lead to consistent action. If you want to achieve your goals, then you need a plan for exactly when and how you’re going to execute on them.