I remember reading the woe filled story of a young man who could not get passed what he perceived as an “unjustified death”. The individual who died was a young artist and in the prime of his life and career. The friend wrote a song about how unjust the Christian God was to allow someone so young, so good to undergo such a tragedy. And he couldn’t get past his own personal grievance.
“How could a just God make this person suffer and die? It’s not fair! A God who is just would not have let that happen!”
The cry has continued throughout the history of mankind. The tower of Saloam that fell and killed 18 innocent people near Jerusalem (Luke 13:3) caused the people to ask Jesus. “What was their sin?”. Today, we hear, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Is there much of a difference in the perspective of the common man?
“God is unjust to allow such things to occur.”
But is that really the right question to ask?
Each one of us have crosses to bear. Some are visible to those around them. Others are hidden deep within our physical bodies, our minds, or our hearts. We all share in the sufferings that come with life, and we know they cannot be avoided.
We want to live without suffering and death. That is innate within us that what we are enduring isn’t natural…and thus, not “fair”. We shouldn’t have to be mocked by our neighbors, molested by those we trusted, killed and ravaged by uncontrollable diseases, wars, and environmental dangers. And the list goes on.
What we are not willing to embrace is that, because we all share in these things, it is not something we can avoid. As long as we live, we will suffer.
So the question that should be asked is this…
How well will we suffer?
It isn’t a matter of stifling our natural desire to escape from the trials and death. It is more in how we endure the suffering. And to what end. For the good of ourselves? Of others? Selfishly? Or unselfishly?
If we are to endure adversity, as we all will at some point, then we need to understand the outcome. And that outcome will always be the same, no matter what misfortune may befall us.
If we are to endure adversity, as we all will at some point, then we need to understand the outcome.
If we try to escape, the suffering becomes unbearable. Some resort to suicide. Others lash out and become angry at those around them, and shake their fist to the heavens at an unjust God. Like cattle, we walk with the storm, thinking we can outrun it. Instead, the storm lingers with them far longer than need be.
But if we were to flip the script, so to speak, and ask, “If I accept what I am going through, I will also accept the outcome. I believe whatever I am enduring right now will make me a better person in the end. Even if that ‘end’ is death itself.” Like the buffalo which faces adversity (the storms) and allow it to wash over them, ultimately enduring the hardship for a shorter duration than the cattle.
It is a perfect acceptance that all things reach a climax for the good, if we but let go. And those around us, seeing us endure such hardships with a certainty of good outcome, will be inspired to do the same.
What does that all mean?
Anyone who has gone through terrible trials in this life have two choices: acceptance or rejection.
Change is always hard, but a lifetime of interpersonal relationships suddenly being stripped away is a death.
Those who accept it, even if imperfectly, understand that what they are going through will make them a more perfect person after the trial is over. And in accepting the hardship, they will stop focusing on the current discomfort. Instead, they focus on the hope of a much better outcome when they come through the other side.
This past Lent was the most difficult trial in my life. It was a time of relinquishing relationships, separating an entire family and interdependency, and the fear of financial struggles that would ensue. Change is always hard, but a lifetime of interpersonal relationships suddenly being stripped away is a death.
Yet we all made it through to the “other side”. It was then that I realized that there is always a light at the end of our darkest tunnels.
And it doesn’t matter how dark that tunnel is.
Loss is loss, be it relationships, physical changes, emotional upheavals…in the end, it is all the same.
The suffering, during that trial, seems unbearable. And the anguish never seems to go away. But being willing to go through and see it all to the other side reaps joys greater than could ever be imagined during that journey.
It is the acceptance of that cross, and belief that it is for our good, that will carry us to the other side.
Remember the diamond…
No diamond becomes the beautiful stone until all the rough edges are cut off. That pain we feel is when the dead branches of our own perceptions, our selfishness, our refusal to change is taken out of our hands. It is the clinging to those things that, when removed, will allow us to move forward to a better place.
But if we refuse, then the suffering becomes unbearable. We become embittered and angry at the circumstances that surround us. Because we can no longer control our state in life, we then turn our anger to that which is outside ourselves, to the point of cursing the very day we were born.
We will still make it to the “other side”, but what is the outcome? A rancorous outlook on life itself. Any mention of the strength and change that could have come from the ordeal is met with snarling anger, because within the one who endured the pain, they believe that what they went through was unjustified.
For them, they have taken the rough stone that could become a beautiful diamond and hidden that gem beneath the rubble of the excrement of their bitterness.
The outcome is a choice…
We will all suffer to one degree or another. No one will endure the exact same thing. We are all unique and approach life very differently. In that, we cannot be fully empathetic to someone else.
But because our lives will never escape the trials, we can at least help support someone else who is struggling to stay afloat.
Let us be that life raft for our neighbors. It takes strength to go through suffering. And it takes good people who care to help them through.
Encourage them to endure to the end. It isn’t always physical death that is the final result. But it is a death.
And the deeper that suffering is, the greater the light that will come from it all.
The light in the end will never fail. Only we will fail the light should we choose to go our own way and refuse to see the good in all we endured.