In today’s society, we think of birthdays as a time to celebrate us. Some go around lauding themselves, letting the entire office know of their special day. Others hide under their desk hoping no one is noticing them.
Whichever way it goes, people have a defined feeling toward their march onward, seeing the aging process in real time. No matter how hard we try, we cannot avoid the passing days. Time does not stand still, and we do not stay youthful forever.
But what can we make of this celebratory day? Should we simply focus on having a good time? Or should we reflect on our lives over the years, find out what we need to improve, and focus more on how we can reset our course toward a more perfected life? There is still time.
Our lives should never be all about us. It is about relationships and how we interact with others. It is about our strengths and weaknesses; our past mistakes and how to avoid repeating them in the future.
As my birthday approached, I began to reflect on my past goals, and where I want to be. What things did I miss the mark on, and how I can take on the desire to realize my dreams.
Personal reflections…
This is the year I had set for myself to finally start up my third and final business many decades ago. I wanted it to be successful – not for myself, necessarily, but as a future investment for my grandchildren to work and inherit.
I watched immigrants like my grandparents start up their businesses knowing that they had to provide for their loved ones. They didn’t hesitate to buy a small ice cream cart with bells on it to walk up and down the streets of a town they just moved to. Or to build a barber shop like my grandfather; a spaghetti factory like my cousins; a beauty shop like my aunt; a restaurant like a Mexican family in a small town I lived it; or immigrants in my parish who started a famous dry-goods store in Oklahoma.
Whatever these people did, they used skills from their past lives and invested in themselves to bring it to reality in their new country. They did it because they knew they had to. They gave what they had to help make their community stronger, with integrity, making sure their families had what they needed to survive.
We who have lived here all our lives have become timid. We worry about increasingly burdensome government regulations, higher taxes and costs of supplies, our lack of “education” and technological prowess. The details often bog us down and we end up going nowhere, working for someone else who took the risks we wished we could do…and being miserable.
Reflecting on all this made me realize how risk-averse I had become in my old age. Being taught that I wasn’t good enough or there was too much competition caused me to hold back my dreams.
What I didn’t really understand was that everyone who had started out with nothing began by taking a risk. It didn’t matter if it was successful or not. What mattered was that you show up and do the work. If it doesn’t turn out, maybe you’re not ready to move forward.
What I didn’t really understand was that everyone who had started out…
And that was what I realized about myself. Decades have passed, but it took that one small step to overcome my doubts about my capabilities. Turning my eyes away from the negative information, I decided it was time to do something about my dreams.
This is my year…
And I am going to take that long-overdue risk. Using skills from my distant past, I have decided to begin the process of discovery. Learning new techniques, trials and errors on formulations and designs, and determining exactly what I wanted that business model to look like took time.
But adding to my past skills, and learning the new ideas has been exciting. The fear that it would become boring is gone. And investing in the supplies to try new things is coming along without debt – something I wish I had done with my first business.
Starting up this site was scary. To be in front of an audience of complete strangers is not my baliwick.
The process is slower, but that’s okay. It will launch when the time is right. And it the process to create this has begun.
Starting up this site was scary. To be in front of an audience of complete strangers is not my baliwick. But I learned a lot about designing and launching a website. The work that has gone into it, and just showing up, hasn’t made it a sensation. But it gave me a new set of skills that have added value to my qualifications and experience for the business to come – and work that will start with another small entrepreneur as well.
Taking classes in business has introduced me to those who have more familiarity with what is happening in the business world at large. And the community of friends and strangers is growing.
I may not have met my ultimate deadline, but it will all come together in the perfect time. Of that I am certain.
Future…
The future now has new hope. Life has taken some very unexpected turns lately, yet all of them have led down paths I never would have dreamed possible. Major changes that otherwise would have brought me to my knees are lifting me up because I am learning to accept new possibilities. Opening those doors that seemed to have been bolted fast isn’t as hard as it once was.
Who would have thought?
And the changes have brought a new dimension to relationships. Especially familial. Because of our difficulties, and experiencing new ways to forgive that has never been done, we have actually begun to grow closer. Those conflicts were the impetus to growth, not derangement; of unity, not strife.
The future now has new hope.
Led to a place of refuge in our new-found faith, the spiritual life has begun to be immerse in great joy. No longer the guilt-ridden unhappiness caused by strident judicial oversight, but a real, substantive, unrestrained peace that hadn’t been felt for over 3 decades.
Yes, life is filled with hope. Even in the midst of strife, struggles, and conflict. Deep down, there is an unshakable expectation that all is sent down for my good.
But what has this to do with me?
My birthday is simply a time to reflect on who I have been, and how far I have come; what my future holds and how I can improve myself even more. No one will bring me a cake, or even wish me a “Happy Birthday”. It is another year passing, and just another day for everyone else.
But that doesn’t matter. It is my attitude toward all this that matters. It isn’t a time to stuff myself with cake and surround myself with people who are expected to be happy that I was born on a particular day. That isn’t what makes me important in this world.
Who I am, not when I was born, is what matters.
But that doesn’t matter…That isn’t what makes me important in this world.
How I have affected everyone around me? Have I made their lives just a little bit better? Or was I interfering in their own dream? It is the time to see how my connections to others can be made better by giving up my own selfish desires today and in the future. To embrace what is necessary for others to grow and become more fulfilled. It is about fixing my eyes on those around me who need help; not making their lives more bitter and burdened.
In short, birthdays should be a time for reflection on who and what we are. Not a time to focus on having others celebrate the fact that we were born on the same day as thousands of others. We aren’t that special.
Time to reflect…
It is a time to focus on things more important. And all of that takes place outside of ourselves.
Perhaps on our next birthday, each one of us should reflect on the past year. Have your grown? Did you accomplish your dreams? And have you become a better person, determined to see others in a better light instead of through the eyes of hatred, bitterness, and unhappiness?
Have you reached those dreams you had? Have you even started to work on them?
Has life hit you hard? How have you reacted? Could you improve your perspective?
Your birthday is a wonderful time to focus on how you can improve your life for the next year. This is your true New Year.
Make it a time of resolutions that are realistic, and work on improving your relationships with those around you. Then move forward with those goals.
Nothing will change until you do.