(As a side note: I am not a theologian, nor do I claim to be one. This is simply a commentary on what I have discovered on a personal level without prejudice to either side of the discussion.)
Growing up Roman Catholic, there was no knowledge of the Eastern part of the Church. Once united for over 1000 years, each side lays claim to the other as being Heretics (called Heterodox in the East), or those who fell away from the Church. But history and the involvement of human nature never makes such claims as simple as what we’d like to believe.
Any mention of the East in the Catholic Church always was received with vehement hatred of the “other side”. So most of us remained contentedly inside the confines of a Pope-centric universe, believing that everything we had was copacetic.
And so we remained as a familial unit.
Until one of my children decided to read the historical accounts of the Christian community.
Hey Mom!
“I’ve been reading and watching something I’m finding really fascinating,” she exclaimed. “A few Bishops and priests of the Eastern Orthodox.”
After many months, she purchased a book written by Bishop Timothy (Kallistos) Ware entitled, “The Orthodox Church”. She began to read it but became distracted by her family and online interest. So it sat on her desk abandoned.
“May I read it?” I innocently asked.
“Sure,” she unwittingly replied. (A move she would later regret.)
So I snagged the book and began to read.
Discoveries…
I’d never been taught about the Orthodox. In my religion, it was considered an heretical sect because it abandoned the supremacy of the Papacy and overarching authority of the Catholic Church alone. And history wasn’t something I really knew much about – nor wanted to learn.
Until then.
Bishop Ware was an incredibly astute and gracious man. He was highly knowledgeable concerning the historical accounts of Christian history. He understood the differences between East and West. Not because he was an Orthodox Bishop, but because he journeyed to the Faith from the outside, choosing Orthodoxy over Catholicism.
During his lifetime, he was considered a bridge between the West and the East without prejudice.
His writings and gentle presentations proved that point.
What I discovered was that the entire Catholic world I’d been taught was fraught with missing pieces.
So much was built on information taught without context, and without explanation; on human reason, not on the spiritual relationship of God and man. Rules, regulations, obedience, obligations, guilt…oh the guilt! Man could never become anything good because he was filled with sin from birth. Not even sin of his own. It was inherited from the first man and woman – Adam and Eve!
Even the very definition of “sin” was filled with the wrong definition!
The missing pieces…
I knew something was missing when I first left the Church trying to find out the meaning of life and death. It was a road that was misdirected and became very dark.
It was a sincere love, one of family unity among people of differing backgrounds.
But it wasn’t to last.
When realizing that God was a necessary piece of the spiritual equation, I began to include Him into my life again. I was led to various churches in my journey back to Him. Each one showed me a different aspect of His Mercy and Love for me.
He surrounded me with people who held a love I never encountered before. I had never felt such acceptance and love from anyone in my life. It was a sincere love, one of family unity among people of differing backgrounds.
But it wasn’t to last. The depth was very shallow, and I knew there was more to all of this than what they had to offer.
So I began to search for that bigger piece of the puzzle.
The West…
I moved back to the West. In my Faith, that is. Back to familiar roots and familiar environments.
Even then, though they were nice enough, they weren’t happy. There was no joy or peace within them.
And it was good…for a time. But something was missing, still. Something that was not quite right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
The parishioners were pleasant to newcomers, but decidedly cliquish, preferring those they knew to those who were new.
Even then, though they were nice enough, they weren’t happy. There was no joy or peace within them. Always busy, always capturing the latest news of the day, but rarely focused on the One they claimed to worship.
And as the years progressed, there was a decided rift that was growing between myself and the Church. I didn’t understand it at the time, but it affected how I approached God, and the Faith.
Others within the Church began to point out the flaws and changes that they instinctively knew shouldn’t be there. The longing from the unchanging Traditions flowed from them. But even they didn’t know what to do about it. Instead they grumbled and fought, even on social media when that came about, to prove their opinions were the right ones.
These unhappy people began to fracture the already rapidly unstable state of the Western church. And they certainly didn’t display much in the way of Christian charity.
The change…
After experiencing the unsettled positions within all sides of the Catholic Church – from the Vatican and constantly changing teachings and mandates, to the more traditionalist side that predated Vatican I and II – I knew that there was something else wrong.
…no one had an answer on how to really live the way the Church used to live.
The people reflected it. No one really believed in what they were taught. It wasn’t deep in their spirit. They only came to Mass because they were told they had to. It was never for love of God, but more for love of connecting with the people in the parish.
There was an increasing display of infighting, “apologists” who berated those who didn’t believe the exact same thing they did, documents and dogmas proof texting1 their every word, converts who became proclaimers of a Gospel that slightly altered the Faith because they preached their discoveries and path to the Faith as if it were doctrine…
And no one had an answer on how to really live the way the Church used to live.
And who would give up their life for that? Certainly not those who were thrown to the lions or used as human torches! I knew I would never do so…how can those actions justify the very belief claimed was true if it needed to be defended in such a manner?
So the journey to Truth began. To find out more, continue to Part Two of the series…
- “A proof text is a passage of scripture presented as proof for a theological doctrine, belief, or principle.[1] Prooftexting (sometimes “proof-texting” or “proof texting”) is the practice of using quotations from a document, either for the purpose of exegesis, or to establish a proposition in eisegesis (introducing one’s own presuppositions, agendas, or biases). Such quotes may not accurately reflect the original intent of the author,[2] and a document quoted in such a manner, when read as a whole, may not support the proposition for which it was cited.[3][4][5][6] The term has currency primarily in theological and exegetical circles.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prooftext#cite_note-1) ↩︎