Have you ever watched a child when asked to do a chore he or she doesn’t like to do? What do they do? They pause – even if for a flicker of a second – then come up with an excuse, no matter how lame, of why they cannot do the chore. And it doesn’t have to be a hard one. “Make your bed.” “Get dressed for the day.” “Take a shower/bath.” And the all-time favorite, “Do your homework.”
The resulting behavior does not make for a good day for anyone beyond the child. Actually, not even for the child. When their excuse doesn’t work, they change their tactic, moving into the “I HATE YOU” vocalization, followed usually by quickly withdrawing from the scene, slamming a door in the process.
(The harder slams are always better, don’t you think? So much more effective when the pictures of the house fall off the walls, or the door jamb becomes loosened in the process. “Shows YOU who’s boss!”, they reason in their little head.)
When a child makes up his or her mind to do something, it will often take an act of God to get them to change their mind.
There’s little you can do. When a child makes up his or her mind to do something, it will often take an act of God to get them to change their mind. And the older they are, the more they push the boundary envelope.
They are testing their limits as they grow into adulthood. And because of that desire to be independent, it becomes more difficult to alter their version of reality. They will have to learn that experience on their own.
If not trained early to change their perspective, these acts become the framework for their character later as they become adults.
Young tyrants…
It is not unusual in our culture today to hear young adults interact with shopkeepers and clerks demanding something to be done about an item they mishandled. Or insisting they get a raise, though they didn’t work to earn such.
They destroy the lives of others without regard because they have made up their minds that their actions are justified.
On television, we’ve seen equally spoiled adults throwing bricks through windows of store fronts of innocent business owners in order to show how “serious” they are in their demands, whatever they may be. They destroy the lives of others without regard because they have made up their minds that their actions are justified.
But rarely do these acts generate empathy with their position. If anything, it creates an antagonistic and divisive relationship between people. Additionally, their demands are largely treated as one deals with spoiled children, unless their actions are given credence by force upon those who disagree.
What is the cause of this?
What caused the child to become belligerent and test the waters of authority beyond their sphere? Or the adult to make demands that they believed they deserved?
They are all thoughts. And thoughts dictate actions. As a person thinks, so they act.
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. – Proverbs 23:7(KJV)
And when the individual receives the just response to their unjustified behavior, their thoughts immediately turn inward. They think it to be unfair.
As they think, so they act…
In previous articles (“do labels define you?” and “creativity...”) what makes man different from animals by something very peculiar to himself. It was the ability to reason and the ability to create. A person can choose to make their lives beautiful or hate-filled by what they think, for their thoughts make up what they believe.
They know that most people will never take the time to see if there is any truth to the narration.
When a person makes up their mind to believe something, they typically put that thought into action. They consider ways to retaliate, or build up a case in their thoughts about the ways in which they were treated unfairly.
They display those ill thoughts by telling the world their story, often online. They spin tales that will show they are right. Never mind that there might be another side to it. They know that most people will never take the time to see if there is any truth to the narration.
And unless proven truly justified in their position, they will be seen for what they are: a person who has little discipline and even less self-worth.
There is another way to see things…
A person who has good phronema will see themselves in a truer light. They know who they are and have a strong foundation in the belief that what comes to them is for their good – even if it isn’t pleasant.
A person who has good phronema will see themselves in a truer light.
They will not try to undermine those who have wronged them. Instead, they will give benefit of the doubt to those they do not know, and forgive those whose reputation for bad treatment of others is known by all.
That doesn’t mean they won’t be hurt by the slight; but it does mean that they are mature enough to understand and let it go.
The battle is in the mind…
A person who thinks a particular way will create that reality for themselves.
If a person thinks they are ugly, they will not recognize the beauty they have within and will believe they are ugly in every way.
What is inside the mind cannot be hidden, and it affects everything they do.
Or perhaps a person keeps telling themselves that they are stupid. They will never rise up to their full potential of intelligence.
Maybe a person believes they will be broke all the time. They will live that way and never learn to live within their means and use a budget.
If a person doesn’t see that keeping clean is necessary, they will certainly keep their car, house, or body dirty displaying to the world where their priorities lie. And keeping clean isn’t one of them.
How they think will be displayed outwardly. What is inside the mind cannot be hidden, and it affects everything they do.
Search for successes…
I began to research those who have succeeded in life – who have reached their goals. Not those who cheated, swindled, or bullied their way to the top. Those people do not count in my world. They are not self-made people, but monsters who use use, abuse, and intimidate others to get ahead. We all know who they are. We don’t like even being around them.
I am talking about those who, by their own will, made something of themselves. And, more than that, didn’t allow others to define them or their goals. And they enjoyed the process as well.
Warren Buffet is often one who is top of this list. He is a self-made billionaire, 5th most wealthy man in the world, last time I checked. I always thought of him as being a self-centered man, not interested in his people or in the people around him.
But actually listening to him changed my perspective. He gave a talk on the people he admired – those who made a fortune for themselves or made an impression on him by their shear courage in overcoming obstacles that would make most people shy away from what could be their success.
One woman, Rose Blumkin, an uneducated Russian immigrant, who lived until she was 104, was a lady who made a fortune in a furniture business. She couldn’t read or write, but he considered her smarter than the most experienced CEO of Fortune 500 companies.
She was an immigrant who could speak or understand the American language until her daughter, who went to public school, taught her mom how to read. This lady had every reason to make excuses on why she couldn’t succeed.
She was an immigrant who could speak or understand the American language until her daughter, who went to public school, taught her mom how to read. This lady had every reason to make excuses on why she couldn’t succeed.
But she succeed she did. And she attracted the attention of Warren Buffet who, later in her life, bought her business and allowed her children and grandchildren to continue to manage the company as their family had done since the inception.
Her dreams continued to live because of the unselfish act of another human being.
Others ran the race…
There are others in our society who created their own successes in this world by choosing to overcome their own particular obstacles, seeing them as opportunities. They didn’t whine about not getting millions handed to them without effort, jealous of those who put in the hard work to get where they are (or were) in life. Physical ailments didn’t stop them.
These are the people who didn’t see failures as proof that they couldn’t reach their goals, but chose to use those failures as ways to learn to improve. They weren’t afraid to fail and they weren’t afraid to go against the grain. These people did things their own way, and, loving what they did, were able to use all obstacles as launching pads to success. Sometimes they didn’t live to realize their goals, but they always put the plans in motion that reached them.
They weren’t afraid to fail and they weren’t afraid to go against the grain. These people did things their own way, and, loving what they did, were able to use all obstacles as launching pads to success.
The one thing they had in common is the desire to rise above the norm. They hated mediocrity, and they knew instinctively that they deserved better than that.
Setting their minds to the task, every one of them reached their desired goals to overcome their limitations.
The battle begins in the mind…
To succeed in anything, a person has to set a goal in their own mind. They have to figure out the steps needed to reach that goal. And they have to be determined to reach that goal.
As a psychologist once told me years ago, you can do anything you set your mind to.
The amount of effort needed to reach that goal will be reflected in the amount of discipline and effort the person is willing to put into it to reach that goal.
And that willingness begins in the mind.
As a psychologist once told me years ago, you can do anything you set your mind to.
And he’s right. Even if it’s only beginning with a small, unread blog like this one.