In a previous post, I spoke of choosing mentors wisely. If you are fortunate enough to have a good mentor, you are given an opportunity to glean from their experience to increase your own.
This idea also applies to those with whom you associate. If you are friends with someone who is less than stellar, you will become like them. Just like who you choose as your mentor, you will follow in their footsteps.
The character of another will stick to you and form yours…
An ancient text touches on this well:
“Whoever touches pitch will be defiled, and whoever associates with a proud man will become like him.”
In other words, if you choose someone who is someone whose life is filled with depravity (the “pitch”), such as drugs, licentiousness, thievery, etc., choosing to befriend them will cause you to become like them.
Not everyone is who you think they are…
Again,
“Every counselor praises counsel, but some will give counsel in their own interest. Be wary of a counselor (association), and learn first what is his interest – for he will take thought for himself – lest he cast the lot against you and tell you, ‘Your way is good’, and then stand aloof to see what will happen to you.”
If you choose friends based soley on their interaction with you, then you miss the point. You must observe them in other settings, from a distant, to find out their true character. They’ll act one way to win you over and gain your trust, but use you for their own gain in the end.
How do you find out their true intentions?
Find out how they interact with other people – especially behind their back. Check out their other friends – who do they hang out with.
“Be wary of a counselor (association), and learn first what is his interest…”
Find out how they handle their personal finances, possessions, business dealings, treat the property of others especially when they borrow things from them, or the way to talk about other people, especially those with whom they disagree.
Are they belittling? Self-centered? Egotistical? Arrogant? Unconcerned with the other person’s feelings behind their backs? Gossiping? Quick to insult or find fault in others? Bragging how they were able to rip someone off they considered too stupid?
How they speak of those things in your company about others is how they relay their true feelings about you to others.
Be prudent…
Be careful in choosing your closest friends. Choose those with good character or you will find the person you once trusted was only interested in using you for their own gain.