For many years, I grew up with the idea that when you needed to express your feelings, they should be expressed. It was okay to melt down, to get angry, and to try to get everyone on board with my own views.
But it never felt right. Rarely was it a peaceful encounter with anyone. And most of the recipients resented to behavior.
Understandably so.
But I never understood what the secret was to express any of those emotions properly, and in the right context.
Gaining the upper hand on my own behaviors, I realized was the core of the problem. But I had no idea how to approach the core of the troubles.
Therapeutic concepts and modern psychology never had lasting results. Being “in control” was something that, without a deeper context, made no lasting impact.
Yet I knew those who had gained that which I sought.I had witnessed their change, heard their stories. It all seemed so easy…and I was determined to know what that method was.
What the world has to offer…
Our world is filled with constantly changing rules and concepts on proper behavior and character. One day a certain behavior is acceptable; the next it must be modified to stop “hurting feelings of others”.
But should we? Or should we learn to change our perspective…?
We are told, “Self Care is Important”, but that usually results in justifying a very ego-centric attitude about individual needs.
“If you feel out of control, step back and take a breath.” But what do you do in the heat of the moment? Rarely can you take a breath when life rushed straight at you.
There must be something more to it in order to not only gain control of the peace that is missing.
“Reflect on your inner feelings (aka, emotions). Accept them and move on”. But should we? Or should we learn to change our perspective and not rely so much on fickle feelings? Yet how can we control them? Or our tongue, the most vicious of all weapons in our psychological arsenal?
There must be something more to it in order to not only gain control of the peace that is missing. But the purpose for such proper conduct had to have a deep meaning or no one would be willing to sacrifice self in order to attain it.
It was more than gaining control for self. It also was to heal and keep true relationships. For the sake of remaining in harmonious rapport with others, this is something that must be addressed.
Without that virtue, we become lonely and depressed. We will never be able to fully understanding how to interact with other fellow human beings, and continue to blame others for the disunity.
But there really is a way…
In the Greek, there is a word which isn’t in our English vocabulary. That word is “Phronema”. But its meaning is very foreign to the Western mindset.
It refers to the mindset or outlook and is reflected in our outward actions. An inward understanding that become externalized. If it is in alignment with a faith that is true, it heals the soul and teaches a person to live more closely united to the image of God in which he is created. If that peacefulness is strengthened within himself, it will also spread to those around him.
{P]hronema does not simply mean a steady orientation towards certain enduring moral values, which people knowingly profess and wisely struggle for throughout life. Rather, it means the completely self-sacrificial trust and faith in religious and ethical truths which derive not from human experience and wisdom, but from the voice of God through revelation, which is self-evident and does not undergo censure or doubt.? ” by Archbishop Stylianos of Australia
It is an ancient Christian word that encompasses the acquisition of living with the Mind of Christ.
If proper phronema is not practiced, the person will continue to be fraught with anger, anxiety, selfishness, hostility, conceit, and pride. That worldly phronema is something found in embracing ideologies and man-centered practices. The very ones that were spoken of a few paragraphs above. (What the World Has to Offer)
Observation…
I have seen proper phronema in those who used to live with a worldview that did not believe in harmony with themselves, their God, and, by extension, those around them. And I have seen the results of my own actions in beginning to incorporate them into my own walk.
Patience:
- the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
- an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: as with, to have patience with a slow learner.
- quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence:to work with patience. from Dictionary.com
In observing those who practice the way of well-ordered phronema, they display an inner peace and outward patience..a slowing down of otherwise quick response. They become more reflective as they grow in the habit of using this mindset.
But there is something even more than just a practice of something for no apparent reason…
It follows the Faith they practice. Through that faith, the purpose for the change of perspective is that it has a firm reason for existence.
…it changes the world toward peaceful coexistence, one person at a time.
It is rooted in an unshakeable certainty about that faith. It is distinguished from the changeable ideology of psycho-analytical techniques and behavioral modification rooted in self-control alone.
And when that proper phronema becomes a habit (which, when constantly perfected by practice and prayer, becomes a more perfect outward expression by doing everything in life for God’s sake), it affects everyone around them.
And it changes the world toward peaceful coexistence, one person at a time.
Enter Eugenia Constantinou, PhD…
Dr. Constantinou more clearly gives a deeper explanation as to what this perspective is, how to attain it, and why it is important. Watch her two part lecture on this incredible concept.
Try it and see what kind of difference it make in your own life in gaining inner peace and tranquility so missing in our hectic day-to-day frenetic existence we call “modern life”.