We think of the word “control” as something that is evil. Other people exert their control over us and that is, indeed, one form of control.
But in another sense, there is a control in which we have the power to exert our own will over ourselves. We can control our emotions, reactions, bodily needs, and even our desires.
And we can change the way we view things. Our own perceptions are within our grasp if we keep charge over the mind.
However, it is not easy to maintain.
External influences…
We are social creatures by nature. It is natural for us to wish to interact and be accepted by those around us.
But that natural instinct can also be a source of our own downfall.
If events occur outside our control (war, natural disasters, cultural changes, etc.), we tend to want to control it was well. The human instinct for survival is very strong.
And when we feel God has abandoned us, we persist in trying to take charge.
We begin to seek someone outside ourselves whom we perceive will lead us and save us from what is going on around us. Someone who will set everything aright in a way to which we had become accustomed. And we are willing to hand that person the keys to our interior freedom so that we do not have to bear the burden on righting perceived wrongs.
As Father Walter Cizek, SJ wrote in his book, “He Leadeth Me”, if God doesn’t provide us the words to say, or actions we thought should be done in times of crisis, we think He has abandoned us.
But the reality is that we abandoned Him.
Our ears become stopped to His still, silent voice long ago. We can’t hear Him because our certainty of a specific outcome didn’t go according to our predetermined plans.
Acceptance…
While our lives and little world isn’t up to our concept of “perfect”, it is perfect for us. We need to learn to accept it and our circumstances as it is and stop trying to make ourselves fit into a life that was never meant to be.
We need to learn to accept who we are, not who others tell us we should be. To be truly authentic to ourselves, we need to accept the fact that we are not perfect. And neither is the world around us when compared to our mental image of perfection.
Happiness will never be found in our imagination. No matter how hard we meditate and repeat mantras to reach that goal.
Happiness and peace will only be found in silence. And in acceptance. Acceptance of our unchangeable flaws and imperfections; acceptance of ourselves and our circumstances. Acceptance that this world isn’t perfect, but is the place in which we can grow and reach perfection in spite of it all.
What IS in our control?
The one thing that we can change is our perspective. To see things with the right degree of clarity, we need to take off the wrong glasses and our desire to control.
In silence, through prayers and a willingness to let our preconceived notions go, we can begin to see the world as it is meant to be. We begin to see the delineation between what we can and cannot control.
Even within ourselves.
Perfect acceptance – always – only comes from letting go.
We need to learn that seeking Nirvana in this world is futile. And that the world’s definition of “happiness” will never materialize in this world. Not as we imagine it.
But when we learn to accept all things as they are happening to us as occasions to gain lessons that are for our own good, then we will learn to embrace everything with real joy.
And that joy cannot come from within our own limited selves.
It comes from understanding what we truly can and cannot control.
Then letting the rest go.
And if we really believe that God is in control, then we better learn to hand Him back the keys. For that is the secret of inner peace. Regardless of what is going on around us.
When we surrender to Him everything that is happening, and we believe He is in control of everything, then wouldn’t it be reasonable to let Him take care of everything instead of us?
Jesus, I surrender myself to You. You take care of everything.”
