but first…

Spread the love

For those of you who have who are owned by cats, there is routine they impose upon their unsuspecting owners.

Clean the litter box so they can immediately befoul it. Trip the feet of the chief food handler and bowl washer, and miraculously the entire floor is covered in treats. As well sniffing in disgust at the large, inconvenient body laying on top of them – the one that looks very much like the slave.

Scratching the door frame is especially useful to get the owner’s attention. In. Out. In. Out. Oh wait. It’s cold. In. And begin the search for the warmest possible spot. On the tablet! It’s warm! And it’s on the lap of the food slave. BONUS!!!

Watching for inopportune times, the cat can determine the tripping point of any servant. Carefully timing their casual demeanor, the animal slyly snakes its way between the legs of the slave who, at that precise moment, is carrying a heavy pan filled with chicken parts. Or, in turn, non-chalantly manages to walk by the slave, stopping immediately in front of them, followed by an indignant YOW as the contents of said pan falls on the floor.

Being the kind and courteous creature that it is, the cat will willingly help clean up the mess by devouring all it can. Then, later on, leave it in an undigested pile on the sheets of the servant’s bed or slipper.

The term “fighting like cats and dogs” have never owned both at the same time. It is like owning siblings. The cat begins to bat at the dog’s tail until the appropriate response is noted. Then act like it’s all the dog’s fault when it turns on the oppressor.

One cat we owned used to run into the room where one of the dogs stood. The cat would skid underneath the dog, then immediately grab onto the back leg of the dog, while screaming like he was being hurt. The dog merely looked at the stupid cat and walked off, leaving the cat feeling unfulfilled in starting a fight.

Still considering pet ownership?

So if you own animals, you will understand that they always feel their needs come before yours. If an oxygen mask were to fall from the ceiling while flying, you may need to fight off the creature who is trying to grab it first.

Your morning routine won’t be much different. Coffee, shower, and food can all wait.

And sleep? Forget it. Nighttime is the time to knock things off the shelving and counter tops. The louder the crash, the better, Then quickly run off, acting like it was someone else’s fault.

The entertainment factor for the cat is far greater than for the human slave. Think “Simon’s Cat”. (LINK)

For now, enjoy the stillness and chance to sleep in. Owning pets can be a full-time job with a very demanding boss.

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