I went on a phenomenal retreat. “Praise the Lord, O My Soul!” was our theme.
From trepidation to openness, vulnerabilities and new relationships, the emotions ran the gamut.
By the end of the retreat, peace once more reigned in my soul. I longed to be of service to each of my family members.
The freshness of the experienced continued.
Until…
The next day, around 1pm. I hit the wall.
The relentless screaming of a baby who was constantly into mischief. Unending demands from a three year old for others to do his bidding on tasks of which he was fully capable. The eye rolls from the oldest who saw no reason to go the one step further and fill an ice tray she’d emptied before I got home.
I lost it.
The battle…
There is a continual battle between light and darkness. In our world, it is impossible to retain inner peace when chaos pulls from every side.
Granted, there are those few and far between who seem to quickly regain their balance. But the battle never stops. And we cannot be the ones to recapture or retain what was lost.
God allows us to suffer so that we may seek His face. In a world that is constantly pulling us in a million directions, it is necessary so that we will stop and take a breath, and say even a quick prayer to the One Who longs for our attentiveness to His Will.
We are saved by the short respites He grants us. Those times allow us to refocus on what His Will is.
It isn’t always easy. And in the midst of the battle, the war rages on until we take our last breath.
Inner child…
There was a popular Christian song many years ago sung by Twila Parris. The words that always captured me during these bitter and trying times are, “I lay down my sword for just a little while. For deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child.”
That’s what we are. Little children. And, like children, when our times are hard and tough, we must remember to always run into the arms of our Mother. She will comfort us, and lead us gently back to the inner glow that comes from Her Son.
God is gracious. He is good. And He will never let us go.
Even when we think we have hurt Him the most, lost our inner peace, or find ourselves drawn away from Him because of the external chaos of our circumstances.
Find a place of solitude. Inside. There are rare times you can find such a place outside yourself. The world doesn’t allow it.
But if it becomes too great a burden and you feel all is lost, find Him Who lives within you. He will help you carry that load.
God has never let me down. He will never let you down, either.
God is good. Always.