The family is the place where we learn mutual respect. We learn how to interact with other people. And we learn to get along with those who are different from ourselves.
The larger the family, the greater the opportunity exists for these lessons.
When parents proclaim how difficult and expensive it is to raise children, they are not looking at the overarching responsibility set before them. Instead, they think that raising children has to cost them to provide constant distractions for their kids. From technology to ball games, the children rarely just have time to spend at home with the family unit.
What happened to playing board games instead of television?
The real cost…
These people view the enormous responsibility of child rearing as interfering with their own wants and needs. Far easier is it to leave the children to the care of others while they go to work to earn money for the sake of childcare and activities for their kids. The children become almost an interference to their own selfish goals.
And the children never know what it is like to actually face the real world. Complete with boredom and chores.
Children are sent to daycare so the mothers and fathers can earn money and buy things. Some do this out of necessity as the cost of living in increasing rapidly.
But others do it because it is what they want. Women especially were sold the idea during World War II (LINK) that having their own money to spend was appealing. No long would they have to depend upon men to supply them with their desires. They could do it themselves.
When they married, that concept continued.
When my husband and I got married, we had decided that I would quit my job and stay home to raise the children. We planned our budget around his income alone.
It took a lot of finagling as we had become accustomed to spending habits that went beyond basic necessities. Woodworking projects, house redecorating and remodeling, and crafting projects took the forefront of our ability to spend without real limits.
We had gotten used to it, but we were willing to sacrifice our wants for the sake of the children to come. There would be a parent present who could raise the child instead of foisting them off to strangers.
They were our responsibility and we were willing to make the abnegation.
Reality of costs…
I saw the rising prices for housing occurring back in those days. I’d made a comment to my husband that the real estate market was purposefully raising prices because of the number of women in the work force. The advent of a two income household gave realtors a greater opportunity to up the price of houses, and earn a bigger comission.
Prices rose, essentially forcing everyone else to have to have two incomes to afford the rising prices.
And I was right.
But it didn’t stop there…
Prices today have gone beyond a two income household.
Now younger people are moving back with their parents because they can’t even afford a simple place of their own. The cost of an apartment is higher than the cost of a mortgage.
But they can’t get a mortgage because they haven’t the means to save up for the downpayment. The cost of rent takes what they earn away, coupled with the exorbitant rise of goods and services. (That’s called “inflation”, though the government won’t admit to its existence.)
All this is backfiring…
The result actually has a positive effect on society.
Instead of moving far away or out of the house of the parents, the children are forced to live under the same roof as their elders. Just like it used to be long ago.
They have to learn to conjoin their family lives with each other. The older generation are having more influence on the young. And their personal experiences are changing the dynamics of the children.
Those grandparents who have control over the children are the ones who are influencing the future generation. Their maturity and experience can lead to a more certain stability of the family life. The more stable to family life, the more influence of that stability will be reflected in society at large.
And it is.
The rise of the youth…
Younger people from their 30’s on down are starting to show cracks in the narcissistic influences of the world today. It isn’t huge…yet. But the movement is growing.
It is growing in rebellion to the the total control desired by those who have an antithetical viewpoint on humanity. An increasing number of millennial are turning toward the home life. They are ridiculed by their peers, but they are standing firm in their commitment.
These young people have learned to reach outside themselves to those in need. They have come to understand that their human touch far outweighs the touch of a robot. No matter how complex and humanoid they are, robots will never be created to achieve the total replacement of human interaction.
And their children are the benefactors of those choices.
Those who seek to destroy the influence of the nuclear family…
That is why the family is so hated.
The very concept of a nuclear family(husband, wife, children as a unit without divorce) is abhorrent to those who want to enjoy life’s pleasure without consequences. It is antithetical to a society that reduces child rearing as merely a study in psychology instead of human interaction.
Living together isn’t a nuclear family. And you can’t test drive a future spouse. Being good in bed doesn’t prove you are going to be faithful or a good husband/wife.
Once those bands are tied, and the total commitment is vowed to each other in front of witnesses. It becomes a covenant, not a contract.
If one isn’t committed enough to give of themselves for the sake of another, then they shouldn’t be “test driving”, either. It becomes an act of selfish desire – and act of abuse toward another for the sake of selfish pleasure.
And their future generation that results from that cohabitation.
A pearl of great price…
To find a woman or man who holds to higher values are like pearls among the rubbish. They tend toward perfecting themselves for the sake of a greater Good.
And they are hard to find.
The same goes for men. And a man who appreciates a quiet woman who will tend his household is a gem. He will hold her high on the pedestal she deserves.
If you find someone who is striving to live a virtuous life, even if they do not have outward beauty, you will have found someone of great price. These selfless individuals are willing to be selfless for you and your family. They are the material of what family is made of.
Far greater are they than those who use you for their personal pleasures by a life of sin. Regardless of the reasons, such as “seeing if you’re compatible with their desires”, you become a plaything for the sake of someone else.
And you, yourself, should strive to attain such high standards. You are equally as valuable as the one you seek.
And you will attract those who are like you.
The higher the bar you set for yourself, the greater chance of finding someone will will care for you as you deserve. You will not be willing to compromise just because the person is handsome or pretty.
It is the interior life that counts the most.
And what of the family life?
Usually those who live selfish, pleasure-driven lives do not like it when they have children. Having a child changes the dynamics in relationships. It puts a strain on shallow ones when the importance of child rearing comes to the forefront.
The child becomes a target of resentment. And the woman who bears the child is often pushed into a sate of neglect or blame.
But it takes two to tango, as the saying goes. What is done in the natural order often will result in bearing a child. Even with all the “protection” in the world.
Children are a blessing, not a curse. And raising that child is an important task that must be done by the commitment of two parents.
The father gives the example of manliness. He provides the guidance of his young sons on how to treat a lady, and civility. He shows how to take on the tough tasks, and how to provide for his family. The man should be the one who displays the willingness to work. He should put himself out there to protect and provide for his wife and his children.
And he needs to display his commitment to those virtues by taking along his sons. By his example, he trains them to follow in his footsteps no matter the path their own lives may take.
In today’s society, the role of fatherhood, like motherhood, has been denigrated. Men are seen as obstacles to an individual’s freedom.
Nothing could be further from the truth. They become a very critical part of a team. When husbands and wives work together, they provide stability for their children.
Looking at such respected individuals as Chip Gaines, Bill Bennett, St Thomas More, and the like are proof enough. Even in the public eye, these men set the standard and importance of fatherhood. Their example stands the test of time to both their little boys and girls – and example of manhood to emulate.
As a result, those children become the strong, virtuous adults of tomorrow.
A woman guides her children into living virtuous lives from a feminine point of view. She is her husband’s compliment.
The mother shows the young girls how to tend to a household. Such tasks include budgeting, cooking, mending and sewing, and how to interact from a different perspective. She, too, shows the labor of love by her own work of her hands.
She displays a persistence in training and overcoming the hardships of taking care of the household chores and childrearing. Her efforts display a commitment to both her family and future generations.
If a mother homeschools, she takes on the role of extended teacher. Not only to show her children how to do the basics, like tie their own shoes. But how to read, write, and do arithmetic. And, more importantly, to think for themselves.
If she chooses instead to take on being highly involved in their children’s school setting, she becomes an example of concerned and involved parental duties. And she is the one who will challenge the school boards and teachers if she sees anything amiss.
In both cases, their actions show their love and concern for the welfare of their offspring.
Mothers versus outside agencies…
Neither a nanny for a day care can provide for children to the same level and degree of the mothers.
Those kids not only aren’t their own, they also aren’t training a single child of a single age group. They are trying to accommodate the survival of multiple children of the same age.
As one person apply put it, “We aren’t meant to raise a litter at one time.” We were meant to raise children one at a time. (Sometimes, though rarely through natural conception, two or three. But those are anomolies.)
The saying, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” is very much true. Mothers who choose to raise a family often are are guilted by society because of their decision.
But those who withstand the assaults show their genuine commitment to their family.
Those are core values that are important to young children. They come from fathers and mothers who are committed to raise their children themselves. Those children learn from their parents how to interact with others. And how to care for their young instead of just focusing on self and their pleasures.
Family life is more than just a bunch of people living together. It is a commitment, a dedication toward rearing future generations of adults who adhere to a central value system. They are trained by their parents, not the school system or society. And those two people are the first to show the earnestness of their allegiance to each other. They display their faithfulness to their vows who will earn the respect of their offspring.
The results are children who will become the adults of tomorrow. These are the people who will not shirk their responsibilities toward others.
They learned from the best: their committed parents.